In the middle of this last chapter there is a section with this question in bold, Will Our Lives Be Marked By Indecisive Minds of Undivided Hearts? This is the section that really grabbed my attention and described on many levels the internal struggle that I have dealt with for the last year and a half.
Yet I see in the situation above as well as in my own spiritual life a subtle yet dangerous tendency toward indecision. When it comes to the call of God, I am prone to hesitate. Before I do anything, I want complete confirmation that I'm doing the right things. I want to research every option and hear everyone's opinions. This is not bad in and of itself, for I want to be wise, but if I'm not careful, I can slowly let indecision become inaction. I can easily become paralyzed by pressures from people around me and doubts that dominate within me. And before I know it, delayed obedience becomes disobedience.Although I have remained confident in my calling, I have been seeking complete confirmation that I am doing the right things, before taking the leap of faith in them. And I agree 100% with the above paragraph, which is why it described so well my struggle that is at times hard to describe to others. There is something freeing about admitting something that you struggle with and if I am being completely transparent I do feel at times that I am in disobedience for my lack of acting on opportunities that God has placed in front of me because of my indecisive mind.
At the beginning of the weekend I also read an article that hit on this same topic and the authors argument was that there are very few things in life that most of us are so indecisive on other than when it comes to our calling and serving the Lord. Most of us didn't struggle much before accepting our current employment, we interviewed for the position, received an offer, and gladly accepted without thinking much. But for some reason when it comes to opportunities to serve God in some way we delay and want it to be spelled out in our morning cereal bowl before we accept it and are obedient to it.
I cannot say with absolute certainty that my struggle in this area is over, but I will say that my desire is to live a life marked by an undivided heart not an indecisive mind.