Friday, December 13, 2013

When the Known Becomes the Unknown

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.         -Philippians 4:6-7
By now most of you are aware that my time in S. Asia has come to a close and by the time you are reading this I will most likely be eating lunch at Chick-fil-A in North Carolina with my family. This past week has been full of many hard goodbyes, some expected and some not. It has been extremely hard for me to fathom all that we have experienced as life these past two years and to watch it all slip away as we take a step of faith back to what was once familiar is scary for me.

As our plane lifted off on Wednesday afternoon I could not help but look out the window at all the villages of people below, many never hearing the gospel, and have tears in my eyes. As I looked down at these villages, it represents what my life has been the last couple of years, a life that few can or will be able to understand. I glanced over at my soon to be three year old son and remember the nine month old baby that we brought here with us. The city that we are leaving is all that he knows as home, the only friends and in many ways family that he has had.

My emotions are normal from what I have been told of people preparing to transition back to their first country, but it has caught me by surprise in many ways. Amongst all the trials and the hardships that life overseas has brought it has also become what I am used to and my normal. I keep looking back on so many of the hard transitions that took place the first year overseas and realize that I am going to have to reverse all of those in a matter of days. 

I am honestly not sure where I am going with this post other than it is more like an open journal post than anything. I keep finding myself with tears in my eyes and I am not even sure why other than that this is part of the normal process for returning from the life that has been lived the last two years. And please do not misunderstand this for me not looking forward to many things in the US or visiting with family and friends, but rather me openly processing when the known becomes the unknown. 

Returning as we are puts my family in a position of humility and great dependency on those around us. Although I do not like being the one in need, the body of Christ is already responding to the needs that we have, even before we arrived in Charlotte today. I posted the verses from Philippians at the top because if I am transparent I have been anxious about this return, very anxious, which has caused much worry about entering the unknown. But I am trying me best by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving to let my requests be made known to God.

2 comments:

  1. Welcome back to the States, Matthew. I'm sure you planted some seeds in S. Asia that will be harvested by others.

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  2. Thank you and your family for spreading the gospel.

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