Friday, August 23, 2013

Don't Be Afraid to Disappoint For Getting Outside of The Box

Some people will only love you as long as you fit in their box. Don't be afraid to disappoint them. -Lecrae

I have experienced this quote in my own life with different people or groups time and time again. As long as I fit neatly or they think I fit neatly into their box then everything is okay and we can have a relationship, but as soon as I get outside of the box, which often happens, then I have suddenly disappointed them. For years these type of people would confuse me and I would feel down like it was my fault that our relationship changed, but one day I finally realized it is not me, it is them.

I remember sharing a situation similar to this with the global church planting pastor at our sending church and I told him I assumed it was just my personality that rubbed some people the wrong way, which caused some conflict with others overseas. Him and his wife both turned to me and said, "Matt, do not believe that lie. You are not the problem, the way these people are treating you and your family is the problem." Hearing the truth from someone else caused a light bulb to go off in my head when I suddenly realized that what they were saying was true.

If you have known me for any amount of time then you know that I do not easily fit into most peoples boxes, whether that be a denominational box, an organizational box, a group or club, etc. Yes, I am a part of many of those things and in some ways they do make up part of what I do, but I do not let one or any of them define who I am. I have come to a comfortable enough place in my own life to recognize that I have freedom in the Spirit and that I do not neatly fit a box, system, or program because I can only be me in Christ.

One more example at the end of 2012 my wife and I had to make a very important decision that would affect the next few years of our lives. We delayed for quite some time as more and more pressure was put on to make a decision, which resulted in more delay because of my fear of disappointing them. We knew the decision had been made well before the actual time to voice it, but when we sensed the Lord moving us a different direction from what we knew this individual would want to hear we were afraid to disappoint them.

There is probably a situation in your life right now that you are about to step outside of the box, but you are delaying for fear of disappointment. I have to agree with Lecrae on this one, don't be afraid to disappoint as long as you know that stepping outside of the box is the right thing to do. There are aways going to be haters and talkers wherever you go, but you need to realize that God has called you to do too many other things than to fear disappointing people that get in your way. Go ahead, get out of the box, disappoint, and move on!


  1. There is an important balance to this. I agree that we need to not seek the approval of men for sinful men can lead us astray. However, we need the accountability of brothers and must submit to them. The difference is in our obedience to God. Some will justify sin or theological error by claiming to not seek the approval of men. Others will justify sloth by only following others.

  2. Jim, you bring up a very valid point and I agree that we should always remain accountable to those within the body of Christ and ultimately be obedient to God. For the sake of the above situations I would say that our response can be the same as long as we are still being held accountable to others to make sure our own actions are not the result of justifying sin or theological error. This is one reason I am okay not neatly fitting into any one box so that I have many within my network to balance out my own ideas or ways.