*This is a re-post from my blog that originally was posted two years ago.*
My days begin around 5am and do not stop until 12am, this is due in part to being a full-time worker and full-time student. This means that I, like many Americans go full force non-stop from the time I wake up until I go to bed. I am not saying this to toot my own horn because I do not necessarily think that it is a good thing. I have been reflecting on this in my spare time, in the car, and come to realize that I have either taken on too much, spend too much time doing useless things, that I am generally selfish, or that I have a problem saying no. In reality it is a combination of all those things.
Due to my busy lifestyle, it has been revealed to me that by allowing myself to become this busy that I could easily ignore the most important part of my day, pastoring my family. And to be completely transparent I often have ignored the most important part of my day. Much of this has been revealed to me in the past few weeks as our family grew from two to three with the birth of Elliot.
I am like most people and like to strive to do my best, but I have come to realize that my best will sometimes have to be less than others in order to get my priorities right and pastor my family. For work this means that I will show up on time, do a good job, and leave when it is time to go. For school this means that my usual B, I have never been an A student, will have to maybe become a C. In other areas of life I will need to quit wasting time on things that don't matter, and give my all to the ones that do such as leading a missional community. For my family this means that I will free myself up to focus on them and be able to pastor them well.
I must note, that just doing those things does not guarantee that I will not fill that time with something else and that I will necessarily pastor them well automatically. First, I must be a good Christian that loves God my Father. Second, I must be willing to admit when I am wrong and repent. Third, I must model a walk with God in my own life that allows me to cultivate my relationship with my family to help shape them into the people God designed them to be. Mark Driscoll said it this way in his ebook, Pastor Dad, "It is important that a man first love God and then seek a woman who loves God and will respect him and love his children, because he is ultimately responsible as the head of his home."
Some additional resources on pastoring your family: