Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Providence, Prayer, and the will of God...
I am sitting here on my back porch as I listen to the Avett Brothers and attempting to study as I realize that it has been about one year since Andrea (my wife) and I ventured to Colorado. The purpose of the trip was to check out Denver Seminary and see if we thought that is where the Lord would want us for the next phase in life.
We loved the seminary, we loved the city...so why are we still here? I have often asked myself that question over the last year. I am now attending Southeastern Seminary, which is by far one of the best seminaries in the United States, but not initially where we thought I would be attending.
The main reason is honestly finances, I hate and love money. Life requires money, which sucks. And now I am left wondering...maybe if I had only trusted God more and had the faith to make the move to Colorado then he would provide as he has always done, in writing this I have no doubt he would have. As a side note, I am currently writing a paper for my Christian Theology class on providence and prayer.
Another thing that hit me is that Andrea and I are very different, yes one in Christ but still two different individuals. She has the spiritual gift of faith, which is amazing. I, on the other hand, feel as if this is a spiritual gift that I lack. Ironically enough I was able to talk my wife into moving to Colorado, finances were never an issue with her, and then I talked myself out of moving there.
Now, one year later we still live in Wilmington, NC, where we have been trying to escape for one year. We are still looking to move west but only two hours to Raleigh, NC, closer to Southeastern. But as I sit here and write this a big part of me just wants to be in Colorado,I can almost close my eyes and picture myself there. I honestly do not know what it is other then the west and Colorado are intriguing to me.
I guess I am writing this because I am learning about the providence of God and that he does indeed provide. I have no doubt we will get there and live one day but when...for now God knows in his providential love and care.